Warning: Program only suitable for FCC-designated safe harbor (10PM to 6AM).
In commemoration of Paul Crouch Sr cacking it, WHOO HOO!!!, we have an excellent show in store for us tonight! A few years ago, through the gracious courtesy of St Byron Werner, a crucial audiotape fell into my mitts with a 1982 exposé conducted by Paul Crouch and his similarly named son on hidden satanic influences in rock music, along with news reports tying Negativland's "Christianity Is Stupid" to a teen's murderous rampage. I had a buttload of other preachers raving about backwards masking and satanic influences, and figuring out this show bedevilled me for literal years because most of the speakers followed the very same talking points. How to integrate all that into a show? I spun my wheels until I hit on the solution. Of COURSE--make them step on each other's lines and fistfight! We have a tag-team wrestling match between Paul Crouch Senior and Junior and their opponent Tom Garguilo, whose claim to fame was being a third-string ringer in the band Wild Cherry--remember "Play that Funky Music, White Boy"? Thanks to my sly editing, no one in his audience remembers it either, hehheh. Add sweaty chunks of Jimmy Swaggart, some forgotten creepy circuit-riding xtian hack motivational speaker blowhard with a bizarre metaphor involving a little girl with a knife on a string, the always hysterical Jack Van Impe, the H.G. Players (as in "Holy Ghost")--and ohhh, seekers, the inspired DUETS--! Paul Crouch Junior does leaden star turns with Hayseed Dixie, Wendy O. Williams, Pink Floyd, Ozzy Osbourne, and a rousing extended disco version of "Stairway to Heaven" that clocks in at over seven minutes of delicious funky electronic cheese! "Dada dat dat da daaaaa--STAIRWAY!" And seekers--listen for the Pink Floyd sequence when the Crouches start debating the meaning of the word "bugger" in ways that will make you squirt milk out yer nose when you haven't been drinking any.