Transcript is not proofread or verified. Voice: I mean, you’ll always be asked where you’re from, you know. I think simply because of how you look, especially cause how I, you know, you can tell, so it’s different. Even if I was borna nd raised over here, I’d still be…that’s how the questions are. Voice: I was quite confused about my identity when my family immigrated to the states. In grade six, one of my classes at that time was social studies. In third period social studies, we learned about world history. It was taught by Mrs. McIntyre. Mrs. McIntyre took me on as her personal project and did her very best to include me in her class. When we started our chapter on ancient Egypt she asked me to do the first readings. Then she asked me to describe my home. Well, she actually said, “Your home must look a lot like ancient Egypt. Can you describe what Egypt, with all of its deserts would look like then.” Now, how was I going to tell her that I lived in the middle of the city – in another country, Saudi Arabia. I had seen the desert once or twice, passing on the highway and didn’t know anything about Egypt, let alone ancient Egypt. Besides, I was a teachers pet, I couldn’t fail her. So I made up stories about living in the desert, riding camels, and hanging around the pyramids. I actually never seen the pyramids and I had never seen a camel. My impromptu presentation went so well in that class that Mrs. McIntyre for the next two weeks on ancient Egypt asked me to talk about, you guessed it, ancient Egypt. “Yeah, the pyramids are crazy…Sometimes you’ll be walking along them and you’ll see the bodies of dead Pharaohs. There’s dead Pharaohs everywhere. Egypyt is really haunted by dead Pharaohs.” Of course, I had no clue what was in ancient Egypt, so I had to read ahead of the class and incorporate that material in my storytelling. By the end, I was quite the expert on Egypt. “Well, my family live near the monument of Ramses III, known as “The Nation Builder”. The monument had snakes on it, but the snakes weren’t like American snakes, they were Egyptian snakes.” By the end of the two weeks on ancient Egypyt, thanks to Mrs. McIntyre, I had no idea if I was Pakistani, Saudi, American, Egyptian or…ancient Egyptian. So yeah, you could say I was a bit lost in my identity and certianly, no one around me helped. Voice: My family immigrated to Canada from India in the 1970s. I was born in Calgary, Alberta. So on paper, I’m a Canadian. But, in reality, I grew up as an Indian kid, trying to belong, and fit, into Canada society. My family is a traditional Punjabi- Sikh family and Indian cultures and Sikh traidtions were all a part of my everyday at home – Going to the Gurdwara, eating prontas, celbrating Vasakhi, all contributed to my Indian identity. But at Elementary and High School, it was very different. I had to abandon my Indian identity because it wasn’t liked, or appreciated. Similarly, my Canadian views on hanging out with friends, dating, or religion, were not welcome at home. Like a pendulum, I was stuck, in between two cultures. Swining back and forth, day to day. I was Canadian at school, but Indian at home. And this was a tremendous balance to strike. I never felt like I truly belonged in either world. (Music, LAL) Usman: Hey, Ekta, are there immigrant youth in Kingston who might have stories like ours? Stories about confused identities, like me. Or living with two identities, one for school and one for home, like you you. In our four years living in the city, we didn’t have an opportunity to hear any of these stories. Ekta: Hey Usman, well there should be lots of stories. Because, according to Citizenship and Immigration Canada, Canada has become home to youth arriving from countries all over the world. Over the past five years, 240,000 school aged children and youth, age 5-19 have arrived as immigrants to Canada. Approximately 50,000 each year from over 180 different countries. According to the 2006 census in Kingsotn, the number of residents in Kingston identified as immigrants were just over 16,000. So 14.2% of Kingston’s population are immigrants, primarily from the South Asian, Chinese, and Portuguese decent. Usman: So Ekta and I decided to go out and find these Kingston youth and there stories. This is a documentary about those youth, their identities, how they keep thir cultures alive in Kingston, and there experiences of differences. (music, Humble the Poet) Ekta: Our intention, was to find the stories of both first and second generation youth in Kingston. But, interestingly all of the youth we interviewed did not fit in those categories of first and second generation. Voice: I feel like, the kind of culture I belong to is this sort of “immigrant culture”. Like, you’re not really part of the place that you’re…your cultural background is not so much wehre your family is from or where you live now as much as it is something that has defined your experience growing up in two worlds. Usman: What we actually found is that many of the youth that we interviewed belonged to a third category – the “1.5 Generation.” Basically, the term 1.5 Generation refers to people who immigrate to a new country before or during their teens. Ekta: They bring with them cultural behaviours and experiences from their home country and are challenged to continue their socialization and adaptation in their new country. (music, MIA) Ekta: These youth define their identity through a personal and at times complicated process through a variety of factors, such as family dynamic, social context, and length of time residing in Canada. Voice: Hi, I’m Bernadette Velasco, I come from the Philippines. So, I’ve been in Kingston for about one and a half months already and, I think, I’m a Canadian in training because I just learned recently that Canadians are big on small talks and, I know that Philippinos are known for being hospitable, being open and friendly. So I think my culture, or that aspect of my culture is kind of in line with Canadians being big on small talks. Voice: Hi, my name is Jenny. I come from Korea. I’ve been in Canada since 2004. When I first came I was only 16. I consider myself more as Canadian than Korean, just because, as I was going to High School and growing up and getting old…the more that I got to know here, the more that I was getting closer to Canadian in my mind. But, the thing is, when I’m with a bunch of Koreans or my family I feel more Canadian, but when I go out of my family zone or friend zone I don’t feel so accepted as Canadian. I don’t know what it is or what Canadian means. When I’m with Korean people, I’m way more Canadian-ized or Western-ized than my other friends. Voice: My name is Mauricio Garcia-Vidal. I come from Havana, Cuba and I’ve been here since June 2010. I’ll say I’m from Cuba, but I don’t really know the culture…I always say I’m Cuban, not Latin American. Cuba and Latin America are two different things. I think I cannot say I’m Cuban-Canadian/Canadian-Cuban because I’ve been here only three years and my experience is not enough to say I’m Cuban-Canadian. Voice: My name is Noman Hussain. Born in Pakistan, moved to Canada in 2006. Been here since. Why I identify as Canadian now – because I’ve been here six years now. You know, hold a Canadian passport and citizenship, but that doesn’t change the fact that on your passport is ays your country of origin and your country now. It’s difficult to say, but to keep things simple, you’ll always be asked where you’re from. I think simply because of how you look…especially because of how I, you know, you can tell, it’s different. Even if I was born and raised over here I’d still be…that’s how the questions are, so. You know, whenever I get asked where I’m from I’ll say I’m from Pakistan, was born over there, moved here, been here six years. Voice: My name is Cindy Gao. I’ve been in Canada for 12 years, approximately. I moved here when I was six, from Beijing, China. For me, a lot of people don’t actually think I’m an immigrant. I guess it’s because I spent the majority of my live here and I don’t speak with an accent or anything. But, when I do get asked the question…especially this year, I just say I’m from Ottawa because that’s where I was before I was in Kingston. My parents lived there, so that’s where I was before. Occasionally, I’ll ask them to specify wha the question means. Like, “Do you mean where I was born...Or, do you mean, like, what city I came from”, stuff like that. So the answer just depends on, like, what they want me to tell them. (music, Where I’m from) Ekta: So Usman, when you came to Kingston, what kind of things did you do to feel connected to your culture? Usman: I don’t identify with any one culture. Like Cindy’s example, I identified with some strange mix of Pakistani, North American, Saudi, and Muslim culture. While in Kingston, I maintainied a connection with these cultures through hanging out with Muslim friends, shopping at Masala foods before it closed and going to Bhangra concerts. How about you Ekta? Ekta: I kept my connection to South Asian culture through a variety of ways. I sought opportunites to make friendships with anyone or everyone who, ah, was from the Asian sub-Continent, I found opportunites to play Indian music at monthly Soul Shakedown parties that I dj at, try to speak Punjabi or Hindi with the friends that I meet here in Kingston, and find opportunites to bring my family, my parents, and my sister down to Kingston so I can connect with them. So, yeah, that’s how I felt connected to my culture here. Oh, and lastly, one of the ways I keep connected to my culture, is I became friends with you Usman! Usman: Thanks Ekta! Others kept their connection to their culture through spending time with family, friends, and through their home communities. Here’s Noman again: Noman: I do strongly associate myself with the culture I grew up in – Pakistani sub- Continental culture. I mean, by speaking the language, by dressing up for your own community events, how you dress up back home – not that you wanna stand out when you go to Food Basics or Walmart (laughs). Just little things like that, you’re talking your own language, promote that where you live. For us, for the Pakistani community, we have events throughout the year. In Kingston, it’s a very active community actually – the Pakistani-Canada Association is what it’s called. Mauricio: We keep the warmth between us. You know, the relationship between your parents if you’re a Cuban person is pretty warm. You say “Hi” to them, you talk to them a lot. And then, you hug them. It’s pretty beautiful to me. We try to keep doing that because, you’re here, you gotta open to the new things. You know, the new Canadian stuff. Voice: Hi, my name is Padhi and I’m from India. I’ve been here for about 8 months from now. We have a big community, Indian community here so from friends I came to know that there’s always something that’s going on there with the Indian community. So, they organize some Garba dandiya thing. This is specifically Hindu festival. We call it Noraida. And, I also follow Janaism, as I mentioned to you before. So, for that we don’t have a temple here, but we helped make a small temple in our house itself. And, we pray every day there. And then…and, the fasting thing – I did one fasting with one of my friends that is Karvadjo that is for long life of our husband and, so we did it together and we did a whole day fasting. And, we had some stories, and, yeah, it was good, we could follow all the things, we were following in India. Voice: My name is Juan Antonio Mario Mallada. I was born here in Kingston, Ontario, Canada. My parents are originally from El Salvador. I see here in Canada they celebrate Christmas on, like, the 25th. We have a party on the 24th. We stay up until we’re tired, so maybe around 5am. Yeah, we just party and party. (party sounds) Here in Canada, they, like, they go to sleep for Christmas eve, and they’re like, “Oh, yay, Christmas.” Also, in my culture, we celebrate 15th birthday, which is a big deal for the female. And, like, we bring a bunch of families from other, let’s say, other places other cities that are close by and we party, same thing, as late as we want. Some friends tell me, like, “Oh, you should come here for New Year’s or Christmas,” but we spend it with family, we spend it with family, I dunno…I don’t know in Canada if their tradition like, they can invite friends and say that friend isn’t with their family. For me, I always stick with my family. Voice: My name is Didier Pottier. And, I was born in Lomé, Togo. I have been in Canada for about 10 years now, since 2001. My parents watch, like, these reality shows, sort of. It’s like Nigerian reality shows. They find it really funny, but since I really got immersed into, like, the Canadian culture really I kinda don’t find the jokes very funny, but they find it super funny and they’re always laughing and having fun and I try to get in, but it’s kinda hard… (game show music and host) Usman: For other youth, religion was important. Here’s Noman again: Noman: I think, mostly it comes down to…for myself, it comes down to religious beliefs. I am a practicing Muslim. From Pakistan you can be whatever religion you want, but I am a practicisng Muslim, so, towards the end of the day, there’s certain cultural things, I guess Canadian…I don ’t want to use that term cause I’m confused what that is, after going through four years of school, I don’t know what that means. But, it narrows down to what I believe in and how I choose to live with that in a completely different society. Voice: Hi, I’m Ranna, I’m from Turkey. I was born and raised in Turkey, but culturally, I come from a very multicultural Muslim family - I’m a Muslim. And, my parents would expect me to fast during Ramadan for 30 days and I’m so happy with that because I’m so willing to fast, so we don’t have any conflicts with that. (music, Are We There Yet) Usman: In our interviews with the youth, we asked how they connected with their culture, but some of them complicated our ideas about their culture and why it was worth connecting with. Here’s Mauricio again: I think I’m pretty different to, and, since I was in Cuba back home, um, I never listened to the Spanish music, I never listened to the popular stuff, that was going around, I never dressed like them, I never talked like them, and I never do the things they did. And, there’s something I always enjoyed to do and it’s unique. I don’t know, it might sound dumb, but to me it’s really cool. And, yeah, in Cuba, there’s a lot of oppression and a lot of nasty feelings against different person. So, you know, in school you’re not allowed to have long hair,k you have to wear it short. Or, you have to wear a uniform or you have, to, you know, be the way they want you to be, not they way you want to be, so….I would always get in trouble back home in my school, cause, first of all I didn’t want to have my hair short, I didn’t wanna wear the uniform properly or I didn’t wanna, you know, go to a place, where those people were, like, listening to rap. Usman: Jenny and Cindy also had similar thoughts… Jenny: I think it’s also because I’m getting older, I’m growing older that I try to be on my own and try to have my own time with my friends or try to do things outside of my family. But, in Korean culture, people like to do things as family, all together and that’s expected of me. But, sometimes I say “Well, I have other plans outside of my house,” then they say “Oh, you don’t care about us. You no longer think about family time, family things.” When I’m only trying to do other things outside once and a while. So, sometimes I think they’re trying to get me inside Korean culture, because mabye they feel I’m trying to go outside the Korean culture or cultural norm. That, they feel like that’s something my parents have to do. But, I also feel like they don’t accept me as who I am or who I’ve grown into. Cindy: I feel like, the kind of culture I belong to is this sort of “immigrant culture”. Like, you’re not really part of the place that you’re…your cultural background is not so much wehre your family is from or where you live now as much as it is something that has defined your experience growing up in two worlds, essentially. It’s not exactly the best feeling in the world because sometimes you feel like you don’t belong in either of those worlds and sometimes you want to belong in both, but it’s not really possible. So, like, I’d say, I’d say the type of culture I belong to is a kind of Immigrant Culture, that doesn’t really belong to either of those. (music, Tabla) Ekta: The youth we interviewed expressed a variety of ways in which the feeling of difference manifested itself, both in school and in social settings. Usman: Here’s Didier, talking about his relationship with his friends: Didier: I don’t really feel different between my friends and me. Like, I just think that we’re all just one big family and there is no different colour or race and…well, yeah we’ll make little jokes here and there, but, other than that, it’s all good. Say, we were playing like basketball or something and I just scored a three-pointer or something and they’ll all just look at me like “Really? It’s cause you’re black.” Usman: Later in the conversation, Didier mentioned Halloween… Didier: I don’t celebrate Halloween, yes. Because my family is very religious and, when it’s getting near to Halloween, my parents, if we’re doing anything close to Haloween-ish at school, I shouldn’t participate, I shouldn’t accept Halloween candy, I shouldn’t do any Halloween activities in the gym. Sometimes, my friends ask me, “Oh, how much candy did you get for Halloween last year” and I say “Oh, I’ve never celebrated Halloween” and they’re just like in this schock and awe…like it’s some really weird thing, like I’m some alien from space or something. Usman: Juan, Mauricio, and Noman also talked about differences… Juan: Sometimes with my skin-tone I feel different too. Again, with the traditions we have is something that I went through like that. But, I just, I don’t know I just feel I see a lot of different people that are a different colour tham me that are…lighter. I feel like I’m the only dark one around. Mauricio: I thought there would be more people like me...I don’t know...probably...I don’t know...many people are like me...or this is a small town or there’s no big difference. I’m not really sure about that. I fo. I found myself...when I was in the place...flying to here for the first time. Man, here I on’t be different anymore. There will be more people like me. It’ll be alright. And then I walked in my classroom for the first time. You know...big curly hair. I had my hat on but I have really curly hair. This black tshirt with creepy pictures on and pearcings and bracelets and all that. And you know all that. And then the people were like wow who are you. You cool. You so weird. And its like dammit. You know. Noman: My name, my background, my skin color. My father always makes this funny comment. Everytime we have a conversation about whether he’s gonna go back or if he’s gonna stay here. And he’s a really nice man and I mean with all due respect. He says, son you can stay here for another 100 years all you want. The fact that your skin color will never change. It’ll still stay the same. And the fact that you born and raised over there. You were there for 17 years will also not change. So no matter what, you’ll still be associated with that. I try to keep it simple. I like to cite my dad’s example everytime someone asks me how I differentiate myself. Usman: Ekta and I feel Cindy summed it up the best. Cindy: I think I”m different from everyone. But I think everyone is a unique individual. And I don’t think that it’s just my culture that makes me different from everyone else. Like I feel like its a large part of that but its not hte whole thing. I’m also a feminist. I also support the social justice causes. I’m also an atheist. That makes me so different from the rest of the people at this table. so I mean culture has a big impact on that but its not the whole thing. everyone is different. Chocquibtown - De Donde Vengo Yo Usman: Experiences of difference also translated into challenges of fitting in. Ekta: According to the BC Center for Safe Schools and Communities, youth who are new to Canada often face a number of challenges that affect how well they adapt to school, learn a new language, become familiar with Canadian culture, and make new friends. Fitting in is a critical aspect of social integration. And unfortunately, many youth feel they must change who they are in order to fit in. Cindy: I spent most of my elementary school years and middle schools years in a little town I like to call Peterborough. Population 95% white. I think there were two asian kids excluding me from my middle school. Like 2 out of 600...800. And growing up in a town like that, I didn’t really feel connected to my culture. Like I feel like who I am now, I’m a lot more culturally Chinese than I was before. When I was a kid. When I was growing up in that town, like I just felt like, there was no one who understood where I was coming from. My parents weren’t too helpful with that either because they’re adults. They were going through different experiences. So I just felt there wasn’t anyone around who understood me. Or you know. Parent’s expectations you know. Get good grades and why its such a big deal. Stuff like that. So I think that made it hard to adapt to living in Canada essentially. Usman That was cindy’s story of not fitting in. Here are Mauricio and Noman’s Mauricio: But one thing that was particularly from Cuba is that we’re all used to body contact. Like if you have a friend, you see him and if he’s really close to you, you shake his hands and you kiss him on the cheek. That’s okay. You know it might sound creepy or scary. To me, it doesn’t mean anything. And if you see a girl that’s not your girl, your girlfriend, you can kiss them on the cheek. That’s alright. Or you can touch them on the shoulder. And you know. They hug. For us, that’s normal. We’re used to if you need something or if you want to hang out or you know stuff like that, you just go to your friend’s house and say hey man i’m here what do we do. Or I need help with my homework. Or can you help me out with something. I have this problem. Here what I found different is first of all, there’s no...almost...no body contact here. If you go to a girl and you touch her arm, they say whoa that’s creepy. You know. You are harassing me. That was disturbing to me cause...you know...I didn’t want to harass her. Or I didn’t want to look creepy but that was my culture. I didn’t know about here. I found that really frustrating for me. To me now learning that I see my friend...my canadian friend...I’m gonna shake his hand. I think about twice before I do it. Or if I see this girl, and I wanna say to her, I think about how to say hi to her. So that’s soemthing that is pretty difficult to me right now. To understand, what are they gonna do. Its like a chess game. You never move unless you’re opening move. That’s the idea. In school, there was this guy, who was, I think in the first side, deep inside his mind or his heart, he wanted to be like me. But publicly, he won’t say. So the way he tries to tell me, man you’re awesome is by saying your hair sucks. Why do you wear your pants like that? Why do you listen to that music? That’s random. You know...don’t be like that. That pissed me off. Like literally. And then I felt really uncomfortable to be in that place with the guy saying. Noman: I think in my first semester, my only friends were my teachers I think. It was made absolutely clear that there was no way you’ll be accepted in the first semester. I do strongly believe that’s a very cultural thing over here. I mean I don’t know if a Canadian student...white...go to Pakistan, how they accept him in the first semester so I don’t want to be totally...100% critical of it. But that’s how it was and that’s how it was gonna be. And I had to come to terms with it. I know it gave my brother a really hard time and sister. Because they started grade 9 and 10. And I had to be there to...you know...get into that. It destroyed especially my brother. It bothered him. He’s just a kid. He’s in grade 9 and no one is talking to him. I couldn’t care less. I was working two jobs. I was working 40 hours a week in high school. It didn’t matter to me if someone talked to me or not. My priorities were different. I had to get into Queen’s. Music: Geoff Berner - Traveller’s Curse Usman: We’ve been talking about differences so far. But some of the youth like Juan and Didier felt they weren’t treated differently at school or in their social lives. Others like Noman have adjusted to life in Canada whether in their school or their social lives. And yet others like Cindy, having grown up in two culture, have adjusted to the various aspects of all their cultures. Here’s Juan. Juan: Again, I feel like I’m the one kid with the dark skin. I don’t really feel left out though. I don’t feel left out. They’re mostly Canadians that I hang out with. I like to try something else too...as Canadian culture...to see what they’re like too. Usman: Here’s Didier talking about spending time with his friends. Didier: I guess maybe they know that there’s some things that I can’t do with them. And that they know next time they juyst won’t really ask. When I was a kid, I kinda did really did miss out a lot on going to my friend’s house. Having sleep overs and stuff like that. Just like the natural things. Now I guess I really do have a little more choice behind it. But it doesn’t really happen as often as it did when I was a kid. Noman: For example, all the time I was in school, I’d go out with my friends, but I not drink. I have yet to have a sip of alcohol. And I know a lot of my friends...people...I think struggle with they haven’t yet mixed in a society. Part of it is peer pressure. Mixing in the culture. Being able to talk to people. I think I did it and I did it all without having to drink. I still...You still go out. You don’t have to be a social outcast sit at home. You still do...I think I managed to still do pretty much everything. But set my limits and make sure I don’t cross them. Cindy: This was the society I grew up in. I’ve reached a point now where I can basically fit in with people. I’m still an individual but I can get along with most people here. Like I understand, I guess the cultural norms here. But when I was in elementary school or when I was in middle school, like the first few years after coming here, like the language not being able to understand the language. Cause when I first came here, I had no knowledge of English. It was really difficult to communicate with people. It was really........it was just really...difficult to understand the thoughts and behaviors of my peers. Music: Moe Clark - Red Ekta: Jenny struggled to fit into both her own Korean community and the larger Canadian community. She expressed the unfairness of expecting immigrants to fit into existing Candian social norms such as assertiveness. Jenny: In Korean culture, we’re very submissive and we’re very quiet. We’re not very outgoing. We’re outgoing with our friends but in public places or in schools or workplaces, we’re....very quiet. And that’s what expected of us. So when I first came or I still have a bit of struggling, Canada is very interactive outgoing place wherever you go school, work, volunteer places, wherever you go. So when I first came, my teachers were expecting me to participate in class and I had a very very hard time with that. It’s not that I don’t have anything to share. I just wasn’t ver comfortable sharing or participating. I was always thinking about how other people would think of me. How would other people would judge me? So that was really hard for me to interact and participate. And another thing was I take a longer time to get used to people or get to know people. So by the time I was getting comfortable, classes were done or people had their own groups...on their own. And it was really hard for me to adjust to that culture. But I’m slowly getting used to it now. For the past five, six years, I’ve been pushing myelf really hard. Whenever I go to an event, or classroom or new environment, I push myself to talk to someone who is sitting next to me. Or try to get to know their names. Try to do small talk. I think I just have to push myself really hard. And tell myself that people are not always judging, and people are not always trying look something bad in me or anything. I think that’s how I got used to it or I got better in a way. Not necessarily the time. If I would’ve stayed the as who I was, not pushing myself as hard. I don’t think I would’ve been as outgoing or talkative as I am now. I have a friction at home actually because of that. Now like I said before, I’ve become so canadianized to my parents or to my family. That they think...I guess I’ve adopted to Canadian culture but they think of me as very selfish, very individualistic. I guess I expect other people to be outgoing sometimes. I ask people...I ask oh so what do you think. Or maybe sometimes I feel like sometimes I’m stepping into their comfort zone. I’m trying not to do that so hard. But maybe I’ve...I’m becoming so accustomed to Canadian cultures outside my home. So when I go back to my family or my friends, they say oh you’re so Canadianized...whatever that means. So that’s a little hard at home. And I feel like they think I’ve changed so much and they think I’ve changed in a negative way. So that’s sad at the same time. I don’t think its so fair because I know a lot of of people coming from different parts of Asia are very quiet. And they have a hard time adjusting. Maybe because their language, different culture and everything. But also I wish people were more nice or understanding that they would take time for you to get used to the settings or environments around you. Rather than expecting you to be a Canadian or to be outgoing as...or participating as Canadians do. I wish they had more patience in them to wait for you to speak. Rather than, oh you have nothing to share. Oh you don’t...you have no ideas to contribute. Then just skip on you. Or I wish they would say we’ll come back to you or take your time...things like that. Music: Our story - No luck club Usman: When the youth were telling us about their experiences of both overt and subtle racism, we found similarities to our experiences going to school in north america. Ekta - I really related to Noman’s story about being treated unfairly in a local grocery store and can recall countless examples of my father being treated like that growing up in Edmonton, Alberta. Transcription: Usman- When the youth were telling us their stories about both overt and subtle racism, we found similarities to our own experiences in going to school in north America. Ekta- I really related to Noman’s story about being treated unfairly in a local grocery store and can recall countless examples of my father being treated the same way growing up in Edmonton Alberta. Noman- So for example, there’s a bunch people standing in line you know. There’s a white person a head of you…the cashier is White too. And to them they go, hello sir, how are you, how’d you find it..and everything…blah blah blah. They pay, they leave. They go thank you, have a good day. Then you go..your the next person in line, you go, and then the face completely changes. Nothing. You know…scan the items, pay, bye. So stuff like that…you know…I mean..it’s pretty obvious. But I don’t want to make a statement on their part. But you feel it…you know what’s happening to you. My father would always tell me every time I leave my house go to high school he’s say son “no matter people swear at you, people say bad things to, even if they try to hit you, don’t do anything back to them. I was a peer tutor for grade 12 phys-ed… I was in grade 12 and I was a peer tutor for grade 9…and you know….i get along fine with everybody except with the this kid. I have no idea to this day what his problem was with me. He was troubled I know..on drugs and stuff. So we were playing baseball out in the field and I have a baseball bat in my hand..this kid decides to randomly come up to me and use the f-word…and keeps repeating it and goes around and around in and keeps repeating it in circles…and he kept saying…2, 3, 4 circles…around me and then he walked off. And I had the baseball bat in my hand and at that point I had to make a decision to keep myself together…and I was new to the country….i could have done something crazy. Probably been in a lot of trouble afterwards..but I was in a position of responsibility and I took it…I guess at this point I took it alright. I was mad..but I didn’t do anything. Jenny- Ive applied for a lot of Canadian restaurants including the Keg….Megalos…different westernized restaurants..and also I applied for some Asian restaurants. The places that called me was only the Asian restaurants…and none of the other restaurants. So that’s when I felt…oh so maybe because I look Asian and all my resume…name and everything…and maybe because of that they don’t think I’m capable of doing…of doing…other work or attracting what Canadians. I remember last summer when I was applying for the job..i remember walking into one clothing store and asked for the manager and asked if I could drop off my resume and the guy who was working there..uh was the manager and he just told me to…he didn’t really look at me. He looked at me …thinking I was a customer asking questions and then as soon I as I asked if I can drop my resume and he just said “oh just drop it on the counter” and he didn’t even ask for my availabilities or anything. Yeah just leave it there and that was it. I just felt like he didn’t even consider me for that job and it was just a simple, cashier type of job…so I was very unpleased with his reaction. That’s when I actually felt that people do actually treat me….or other people from different countries differently from Caucasians. Mauricio- My true opinion about high school is that it sucks- definitely. There’s a lot of people you know…people from other countries…I think it’s the most multicultural place in town. And although they have all that kind of that stuff…deep inside…there is still the racism and still stereotyping and that kind of stuff. Uhm ,I….walking into a class and the teacher will do attendance and everyone will say their name real nice…you know the English name and then they get to mine they say…something…they don’t say my name properly…they say something..and that’s it. They don’t say…oh am I saying it right…am I saying it wrong? For example, there is Canadian kid who has an Italian name and they say “oh am I saying it right? You know that kind of stuff. Mine they say it…and that’s it. Oh and do you know in the student services..they call your name..you know if you get in trouble..or if you had a call from your mom..they use a microphone and say uh…”please …uh Jackie Jackson can you come to student services. If there is an international child…like me…they go to the room I am in studying and they say “oh you getting a call on line one” talk to the student services. That disturbs me a little bit. There is this one time I really got mad, I had a t-shirt that has a band it was called “slayer” and the t-shirt has a skull holding a shot gun. So you must say oh smiling…Here…I don’t want to hurt anybody, but there’s a lot of taboos and a lot of things that people try to hide but they can’t. So I had that t-shirt and I wearing it since September and it was in November when I was in this English class and the teacher say “oh your t-shirt is inappropriate- go change. And I said I’m not going to change…and I got sent home for that. Just for that. And you know..i don’t really think it was the t-shirt..well I know probably? Cause there’s more violence in just a single person in the school …than in a t-shirt. Just because I have a t-shirt with a shotgun or someone holding a shotgun…doesn’t mean im going to go and kill everybody. But you go to school and they just look for one single boy and say “hey man ill beat you up”…you know that kind of stuff. You that’s oppression…and deep inside the teachers its racist. It’s racism. I don’t want to hurt anybody but that’s true…it’s a lot of taboos…a lot of that kind of stuff out there and they just want to hide it. But they can’t…because I think it’s part of their mentality. Juan- yeah so there’s jokes. Sometimes they think im Mexican…Im not Meixcan. I try and tell them im not mexica…im from el Salvador. Well my parents are…but that’s my background. And they start making like jokes…like racist jokes…like I cant really say them. I take it like as a joke too. L ike I don’t get mad at them and say like im going to beat you up cause Im mad at them. Nah…I just take it as a joke…like they also joke around with their own race too. So we don’t really feel angry against each other…we are just chillin. We laugh together… Didier- I just think that a lot of people that I meet are sort of closed minded like about the different countries there are. Like they really only think of the whole…the bigger countries…they always hear about..if somebody comes and starts speaking French…they’lll be like oh…you must be from France or something. Like some people think im from Nigeria…and like I don’t know…even sort of the small places…that I don’t really know about like Chad and stuff like that. It doesn’t really make me feel bad…at least they got like the whole continent right at least…. Usman- There is no one immigrant story. Ekta- While their stories were unique, they also intersected in certain areas such as in experiences of difference and racism. Similar to my own experiences as a second generation immigrant, these youth continue to face pressures, stresses, and challenges as a result of their immigrant identity, in addition to all the stressors associated with being in high school. But what I found inspiring and hopeful was that they all demonstrated tremendous patience, flexibility and resiliency- something I wish I had more of when I was their age. The stories of these youth struck home with me. When Cindy talked about being an immigrant stuck somewhere in-between, I thought of my own story about sixth grade. That year I was in between my identities at home and school. At home, I was a Pakistani. And At school, I alternated between American and ancient egyptian. But the most striking part of these interviews for me was the tension everyone lived with. The tension of belonging somewhere and nowhere as in Mauricio's case. He didn't feel any belonging in Cuba or in Kingston. There was also tension in our interviewee's experiences of difference. I think Jenny said it best when she talked about her struggle to adopt Canadian socialization. At the end, she argued that asking immigrants to adopt Canadian values was unfair even though she had done exactly that. But I think I side with Cindy on this issue when she said in our interview of her, 'whatever Canadian values are". There was also tension in Juan and Didier's experiences of racism. Where does a joke about race start and end? I think the most amazing part of our interviews with all these youth was being reminded of just how well all of them live with all these tensions in their lives.