Warning: Program only suitable for FCC-designated safe harbor (10PM to 6AM).
Remember this old PSA...? "LIFE--What a BEAUTIFUL choice..."
**BRAAAAP!!** Yeah, RIGHT!
At times, life sucks harder than a friggin' turbocharged HOOVER, and when living in this hellish PinkWorld becomes the equivalent of soaking your cortex in battery acid after a good brillo'ing, you start to consider embracing the alternative. Life is damned rough on those who feel TOO MUCH, and sometimes all the bullshit, uncertainty and incomprehensible injustice all build up until you just want to make it stopstopSTOP!!!!! I understand this all too fucking well--because I get to that point as often as some bitches have periods, and it's all I can do not to jump off a goddamned skyscraper and get off this fucking merry-go-round ride. Well, I'm soaking in another one of those plunges, but since I lost my identity, I've found that I can't do a fresh show--WHAT THE FUCK CAN I DO FOR THERAPY??? What the hell...so let's all just pile into the hot tub, stick our heads under the water, and steep in this secondhand hot tub of angst, shall we? This show was originally done during one of those times...and let me tell you, after I worked it all out on the air, it felt like the biggest frickin' cigarette I ever had.
With sounds by Frank Sinatra, the bombastic Richard Kiley and his Fickle Finger of Fate, the Happy Fingers Institute (they have NIGHTMARES about this shit!), Tonio K doing the Funky Western Civilization, the Honeymoon Killers, Norman Bates and the Showerheads, the Polystyrene Jass Band pouring Drano in your veins, Jonathan and Darlene Edwards further shattering the Boulevard of Broken Dreams, the Armageddon Experience, crazy xtian preachers who'll make you want to put out your ears with a fucking fork, Tom Lehrer, the Fools, Jonna Gault and her risible "Symphonopop Scene" warbling about "The Pink Life," Screeching Weasel, the Circle Jerks--and take that Quantum Leap with the "Screaming Clocks" sequence from the off-off-OFF-Broadway show "3 GUYS NAKED FROM THE WAIST DOWN" (Scott Bakula's SECRET SHAME!!!)
This show still kills me--I just wish it could *finish* the lousy fucking job.